The Wrong Things

I'm putting all this effort in. Building something I don't believe is going to last. Working my self into a frenzy, into a panic KNOWING it doesn't matter. What in the world is going to happen when it DOES matter.
I am obsessed with this messaging app. I check it constantly. 
I truly have two people I've consistently connected with and I'm so glad I have them in my life. 
I have someone praying about my love issues because I was willing to share in that space in a way I usually wouldn't.
SSM and Twenty Questions have now both asked me for money. Fraud confirmed. I knew it, it was just confirmed. No I didn't give it to them, yes I deleted and cut contact. It's just frustrating.
You chat, you connect, nothing happens, nothing changes, and then they fall off the face of the planet.
I FREAK out. They have no idea. 
What the heck am I doing? What is my goal?
Then there's wing tat. Oh my gosh. 
I am OBSESSED with this tat. They have never bothered me or particularly attracted me. I could stare at this one for days. He knows it. I've said it enough. He uses it against me.
He is SO good at being bad. Yeah, probably shouldn't be focusing on that right now.
He's not good for me, but he is oh so for me. 
Two days. We'll see how long he sticks around. I'm keeping the pics of the tat. It's forever.
I'm telling you. I'm in love with that tat.
Back to the point. This is not where I should be investing. I'm not even sure its healthy.
Heck. I'm not even sure what healthy is.
How do I get there?
Not chasing all the wrong things I'm sure.
You'd think I would have learned that by now.
You'd be wrong.
#irisswiftdepression