Are you kidding me?

So, I'm now chatting to multiple people on my app. One for a month. 
That's so cool.
Anyway, two are single guys. Around my age. Super nice. Pretty regular.
One just fell off the map. I started freaking out. I asked. He answered. He promised to let me know if he was taking a break again. All is good.
The other its been almost none stop. He's so sweet. Recorded his voice and sent it to me. We talk about everything. He respects my boundaries. Which, of course, kinda freaks me out. 
Both have completely stayed away from the love topic, which is great. 
We'll call them hmmm. I actually like them so they don't have nicknames.
Okay local boy is Cory. He's the first one.
The second is Cadmus because.
Cadmus has always almost instantly replied to every single message.
Got me spoiled.
This morning I sent one and I got nothing. 
What? I look at the time.
He should be up.
Crap. What did I do?
At first I can't think of anything.
Then it hits me.
CRAP.
Last night we were talking about weather and that I didn't like the hot, it didn't get cold here, and I rarely wear a jacket. 
He asks if I would like Minnesota, he spends half his year there. Yes, but no way I'd move. Too many roots here.
We talk about ice fishing. I agree I would probably like it.
He says he'd make a Midwestern girl out of me yet.
Too many obligations here. Sorry.
He agrees, and not long after signs off. 
Now it was time for me to go to sleep and I thought nothing of it at the time.
When I remembered all that this morning I bloomin PANICKED!
Freaked out, figured he was gone. Lost it. Completely and totally.
He'd gone grocery shopping. Completely normal.
But by this point I was in full on Bitch mood and felt trapped.
My life is not perfect. I've been suicidal. I felt, lost, afraid, and unable to cope.
I have never felt trapped. It was suffocating.
Cory talked me down. 
And I prayed. 
But I am well and truly trapped.
I don't like it. Can't change it.
So here I am. Screwed and trapped and trying to heal.