Purpose

I believe in God. I believe He is sovereign. I believe he has a plan. How often do I look at it? How often do I look at the trail of brokenness within me and behind me and scream at the sky. WHY? How many times have I simply begged God to take away the pain. Please just take away the pain.
If God has a plan. If God knew each and everything that would happen on this planet BEFORE he said "Let their be light" Then he knew:
Who my parents were
Who my children's fathers were
Who I would choose for friends
How each of these people would impact my life. How long they would stay, when they would go, and how that would impact me.
If I believe that then I have to believe that there is a purpose to this pain. This depression. This brokenness. This inability to heal, to let go, to MOVE on.
Of course, my own selfish sin could be part of the problem.
He knows all about that too.
We're studying Ezekiel on Sunday mornings. Today our preacher talked about idols and the things we make idols. I've allowed my past, my injuries, my choices to become idols. 
I can't because...
This keeps me from being who He wants me to be.
Hopefully this verbal purge will help. 
Baby steps.
15 steps forward and 1 step back 15 times means I've actually moved forward 15 steps. Just gotta keep trying.
One step at a time.