No clue

Been pretty quiet. It's actually kinda been okay.
And then I'm not.
Why am I on this app again?
To make friends. 
Surely, surely I can connect over music, right?
I sent my ten cds, that is what the bottle asked.
He sends me his first four. I responded to each. Asked if he listened to mine and then hit delete.
Excuse me. What? 
And I'm spiraling again.
So stupid.
So dumb. 
Cadmus is there. He is always there.
He refuses to leave me or let me push him away.
I would walk away from everything.
I'd RUN.
Heck. Let's be honest. I'd give up life.
I'm so exhausted from the roller coaster.
 There's no hope for better.
We just keep riding this stupid merry-go-round.
No choice.
No fun.
Guess we'll just keep riding.