Flares, focus on the darkness or the light??

It is a little hard for me to believe it has been two months since I posted.
Some has been because I was busy and all was well.
Some has been because I wasn't busy and I wasn't well.
Lots has been floating around my head, I just haven't had the energy to share.
I found a list "you'll be okay" playlist.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8b/2b/fd/8b2bfdb8a38c4e91c14e3783d233fca4.jpg

I figured that I wouldn't like all the songs, I didn't, but it couldn't hurt. I did like most of them and made a playlist. One song really resonated. Flares by the Script

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OojKI0DpodU

I was in a pretty bad place when I found this song. There was someone in my life who I considered a Flare. He brought hope, light, life, and laughter to me. He made me want to open my heart, and believe in a future. And then he was gone and all I could see was darkness. I felt like there was still a sting in my eyes from the brilliance of the flare and now I was blinded. It hurt. I felt even more broken than before. 

Then I started looking around my life. 
My kids (the ones I gave birth to) are certainly flares. They amaze me, love me, and try to keep me straight.
My Punk, my girl child God gave me in a different way, has brought light and laughter to my heart and life for years. Now she's given me my first grandchild.
My kids at church are bright and frequent flares. They teach me so much more than I teach them. Their hugs and screams of Momma Iris brighten my heart and day.
My school kids give me a reason to get up and drag myself to work everyday.
God has been shooting flares all along. They never go away. 
Yes they are brief. Yes they go out and leave darkness. Yes they light the path and give me direction.
I can focus on the darkness or I can focus on the light. 
On the good days I see the light.
On the bad days I wallow in the darkness.
Today is mediocre. I sit in the darkness and see the light.

Oh, and the first flare. My Cadmus. He is back. He is unwell. Distance makes it hard. However, when I push he gives me space, and when I let him back in, he always comes back. I'm not sure what it means, but I'm grateful to have him when I do.